How to Get Better at Identifying Emotions
If you’ve ever found yourself saying “I don’t know what I’m feeling” — when asked, you’re not alone. Many people struggle to put words to their emotions, and in our last post, we explored some of the reasons why this happens.
But the good news is that emotional awareness is a skill, and like any skill, it can be practiced and strengthened. With the right tools and commitment to using them, you can get better at identifying your emotions and using them to guide you toward healthier choices and relationships.
Here are some practical ways to start.
1. Slow Down and Check In
It’s hard to notice your emotions when life feels nonstop. Try setting aside a few moments during the day to pause and ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?”
If you’re not sure, that’s okay. The goal isn’t to have a perfect answer every time, it’s to just start to create space for the question. Over time, those small check-ins build the habit of paying attention.
Pro tip: The app How We Feel can be a great support. You can set notifications that prompt you to pause, and it walks you through a menu of emotions, starting broad and then helping you narrow in on something more specific.
2. Start with Your Body
Emotions often show up physically before we put them into words. Anxiety might feel like a racing heart or tight chest. Sadness might feel like heaviness in your body. Joy might feel like warmth or lightness.
When you notice a sensation, ask: “What emotion might be connected to this feeling in my body?”
3. Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary
Many of us only use a handful of words — happy, sad, angry, stressed. But emotions are much more nuanced than that. Tools like a feelings wheel can help you find more specific words (frustrated vs. disappointed, content vs. peaceful).
The more language you have, the better you’re able to name what’s happening inside.
4. Journal About Your Day
Writing is a powerful way to slow down and reflect. Try jotting down a few sentences about your day and then asking yourself: “What might I have been feeling in that moment?” If it was memorable enough to write about, there’s bound to be connected to some kind of feeling. Over time, journaling builds a bridge between your experiences and your emotions.
5. Notice Patterns in Relationships
Emotions are often stirred up most strongly in connection with other people. Pay attention to how you feel after conversations, conflicts, or time spent with loved ones. Those patterns can offer clues to emotions you might not have noticed in the moment.
6. Practice in Therapy
Therapy provides a supportive space to explore feelings you may not be able to name on your own. A therapist can help reflect emotions back to you, offer language for what you’re experiencing, and guide you in becoming more comfortable with emotional exploration. You don’t have to go it alone!
Closing Thoughts
Learning to identify your emotions takes practice — and it won’t always feel easy. But every time you pause, get curious, and try to put words to your feelings, you’re building emotional awareness. And with that awareness comes clarity, resilience, and more authentic connection with yourself and others.
At Havn Therapy Collective, we believe emotional awareness is a foundation for growth and healing. Therapy can be a safe space to strengthen this skill and feel more deeply understood.
Learn more or schedule a free consultation below!